I started working on my grumpiness a few months ago. Here is how I’m learning to stop being so grumpy. 🙂
Grumpy When I Disappoint Myself
I admittedly have a problem with getting down or grumpy. Usually it happens when I am disappointed in myself, or when I think I should be different. And, more often than not, in the moment I will project what I am feeling and blame someone else. For example, at my last job there were times I felt simultaneously overwhelmed and unproductive. When I was asked to take on new tasks or when I made a mistake, I would get defensive and blame someone. I wanted to blame someone because I felt insecure. But the truth is that the job lacked structure that I needed, and I didn’t know how to ask for what I needed.
So, I was disappointed in myself. I thought I should be able to do more but I couldn’t. Rather than own it, I got annoyed and blamed other people for asking more of me. What I could have done if I had known better was ask for what I needed or created the structure I needed.
Grumpy When I Don’t Feel Well
So, moving right along. That’s just one example. Another example is when I am bike riding. Sometimes when I don’t feel well or when I don’t feel strong, I blame other people. I blame the people in front of me, around me, in the front of the paceline. I get grumpy and riding feels like a chore. Sometimes when I get in a funk, I can’t get out. But this is starting to change.
The improvement only has to do with my perspective. When I am having a hard time, I remember to be grateful that I am getting a good work out. When I feel so bad that I can’t keep up, I remember that it’s ok that I feel how I feel, whether people get annoyed with me or not. It’s okay if I need to ride alone or fall off the back. I won’t get annoyed with myself because I choose to enjoy the ride no matter what. I remember how fortunate it is to have a social hobby that involves hours of exercise in the beautiful outdoors! I must not forget how lucky I am.
And so I do this is many situations. I am trying to see it from the positive perspective. Nothing is all negative.
I talked to a girl yesterday that I hadn’t seen in 11 years. The death of her dad brought her to living and working in Holland. The death of her mother brought her back to the states. While both of those events were horrible, she also had great jobs, met and married her husband and developed into a beautiful woman with maturity and depth. Her experiences have been rich, full and meaningful. People thought she was crazy for moving to another country alone in her early twenties. She thought she was crazy too! But it worked out beautifully and she could easily see the good that came out of the journey.
When you get annoyed or grumpy, what do you do to get yourself out of it?
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