Sometimes, it seems impossible for me to stay present. I’m reading my devotional in the morning, with no comprehension of what I read because my mind was thinking about something or someone else. Sometimes I am driving, and I become disoriented and forget where I am and how I got there. It feels like lost time. It happens when I am in conversations sometimes too. I am looking the person straight in the eye, and at some point, I stop being present with them and start obsessing over something.
I heard an amazing piece of wisdom from a woman yesterday.
She stressed the importance of grounding herself. When her mind begins to race, she stops and says something like this: “My name is Alison. I am sitting in a chair at a table with people I love. I have coffee in front of me. It is sunny outside today.” etc.
She also stressed the idea of positive self-talk. I have been feeling negative about God. I pray and meditate every morning, and enjoy it. However, during the day when it comes to praying for little things, I stop myself and think “Whatever. God doesn’t care about that, or me.” Sounds AWESOME, right? Maybe I should take that time to do some grounding. “I am Alison. God created me, and God loves me. He loved me before I even knew Him. I am right where I am supposed to be in this moment. Everything is already ok”. etc.
From a journal entry a few years ago:
“I will look forward, but also appreciate how God uses my past to shape me. I will worship God for the mercy He showed me by not allowing me total control.
I am not excited about the future, looking ahead, or moving on; but I will rest in my salvation and in the security of knowing that there is no other reason that I have a relationship with God except for the fact that he wanted one with me. I turn my back on him, and at the right time after sometimes leaving me in my own poor decisions, he gently puts his hand on my shoulder and starts turning me to face Him. I can’t look Him in the eye, but I accept His embrace.”