A year ago my life was much different than it is today. My dad’s death was a catalyst for a lot of change. Honestly? I might have used it as an excuse/reason to make drastic changes I’d wanted to make for some time. Some of those things turned out great, and some of them led to some pain.
I have said this before, but I really view all of the highs and lows as a beautiful part of my healing and growth. Some of the beliefs I had at the time are the same, but I am coming to the realization that many of them are not.
And I don’t see how I could go back to how I was thinking before.
This causes some tension in my life because I can’t explain the change, and I am not open to discussing it or defending it with people who want to debate or reason with me. I have never liked these type of discussions. Today, rather than force myself to have them, I just politely say “no thank you”.
That’s where my thoughts are today. I feel change coming again, and I choose not to think about it. I simply pray for God to help me do the next right thing, try to be useful, and trust that I am exactly where I was meant to be in this moment.