Self Love?

For some reason, the idea of learning to love and affirm myself is unappealing. It seems empty and un-fulfilling, but I think that may be due to a lack of understanding. As I have been struggling with this, I got this devotion a few days ago:

“For most of us, addiction was full of doubt. We stopped believing in ourselves. Our thoughts had turned to “stinkin’ thinkin’. ” We didn’t believe in much of anything. We didn’t take risks. We always looked for the easier, softer way. In recovery, we start to believe again. We believe in the program. We believe in a Higher Power. We believe in people. And, over time, we believe in ourselves again. We become better at taking risks. We are able to stay sober because we believe, because we take risks. As we stay sober, we can face almost anything – with the help of others.” From Keep it Simple

A friend suggested to me that the potential I see in myself has historically come from others’ affirmation. The universe wants to remove that, and teach me to accept love from MYSELF and be satisfied with that.

How do I become satisfied in that alone?

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  • Jessi Marie

    It makes sense, and I think sometimes we need that as a sort of stepping stone between addicted thinking and healthy thinking. As my recovery progresses, I find myself starting to think positive thoughts for my own sake (without the back-up, as it were) and sometimes that can leave me feeling disoriented and a little guilty. At those times, all I can do is realize that progress is progress, no matter how slow it seems.

    <3 I hope that helps, even just a little bit.

  • alisonsnotebook.com

    It does! Thanks for sharing your experience. It’s so helpful for me to her how other people deal with and learn this stuff

  • Senor Super Hug

    Affirmation has to be backed by credibility. If someone were to tell you “You’re a fantastic guitarist”, but has never heard you play….they would lack credibility and the affirmation would lose its substance. However, if this person had heard you play and was, say, Phil Keagy, then the affirmation would be significantly more substantial, right? 🙂

    When you tell yourself that you are beautiful, there is no better credibility than to add “because God, the creator of the universe and my Lord and Savior, says I am beautiful.” You are not beautiful or talented or smart or gifted on your own. You are all these things because of God alone.

    I realize I may have just put what you said into different words, but hopefully that helps. Have a great day, friend!

  • alisonsnotebook.com

    Sir Super Hug!

    Yes yes yes. So, I’m told I can learn to affirm myself, nurture myself, take care of myself, and love myself. But doing all that seems empty. Until I realize that I can do all those things because of the credibility (provided by Christ, who covers my sick self, and also by God, who loveloveloves me).

    I guess I struggle with the idea of nurturing and affirming myself. I want someone else to do it for me 🙂 But yeah…I need to realize that I am being romanced by my Lord. And that is totally enough and isn’t going away, whether or not others are providing affirmation or not.

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