It’s easy to live my life comparing myself to other people, which is why, for me, learning how to build self confidence was extremely helpful. Building self confidence has been a component of learning and practicing self-care, which is still pretty new for me.
“Her thighs are thinner than mine.”
“I’m not as smart as him.”
“I’m not as talented as her.”
“People don’t like me as much as they like…”
When I don’t consciously STOP and think, my mind can get flooded by insecure thoughts and fears.
But I’ve realized, especially recently, that I have a lot to have self confidence about and to feel self worth for. I’m creative, a fabulous singer, I pick up new tasks quickly, I follow instructions well, I like to make people happy and I actually have enough life experience to genuinely help people.
^^^ That’s huge.
I truly believe these 5 tips are for everyone—so if you’re looking for tangible ways to feel more self confidence, then read (or watch) below.
#1: Self Confidence – Appreciate Your Uniqueness
I possess unique skills and talents, and that matters. When I feel my self esteem is low, it becomes easy to compare myself to others when there is a trend or social standard I feel pressure to conform to.
The truth is—I won’t always be able to conform to trends and social standards and that’s ok. I’ve learned to accept myself for who I am and where I am, because there are important things about my uniqueness that are useful to me and that help others.
It’s much more relaxing for me to accept who I am and move on.
My uniqueness provides value to people—it’s what makes my personality my most valuable asset, because there is no one else like me. So, I choose to embrace it whether I’m in style or now.
Appreciate your uniqueness affirmation:
I commit to prioritize my self confidence. I am perfect just the way I am, and others are perfect just the way they are. I feel excited to share my true self with others and to appreciate the uniqueness of others. I am excited that there is no one else like me, and I feel thrilled to offer my authentic self to the people around me.
Practice Looking For The Good
If you want to get great at finding the good in yourself, just practice on finding the good in others. My sister Melissa) had a friend in high school named Tiffany. Every time she met someone new her first priority was to find something amazing about them. What did they do better than other people? She was exceptional at looking for the good in others because she made a habit of it.
In turn she was confident and comfortable in her own skin.
She socialized with all sorts of people. She was beautiful and she loved everyone. Confidence can be intimidating until you realize people believe in you.
#2: Appreciate Your Awkwardness and Find Self Worth
One thing that helped me to be more confident was to not only embrace my uniqueness, but to embrace my awkwardness and appreciating my own self worth.
I’m not saying you’re awkward – maybe you’re not. But One thing I felt insecure about was that I feel awkward constantly. By embracing it as a unique and endearing part of my personality, I was able to stop feeling so insecure about it and to start embracing it as a part of who I am.
I might be awkward, but i’m also interesting. 🙂 And you are too. This has definitely helped me when learning how to be more confident. I deserve to take up space, and am worthy of attention and friendships.
Appreciate your awkwardness affirmation:
I meet new people easily, and I feel increasing amounts of social self confidence. Meeting new people is fun, because I get to share about myself, and learn new things from new people. I embrace my awkwardness, and I am perfectly imperfect, just like everyone else.
#3: Own Both Your Strengths and Weaknesses
First of all, I’ve learned to embrace my strengths and positive qualities. Its so easy to brush off an accomplishment or compliment.
But you know what you should start doing instead?
Say THANK YOU. Take it in, breathe it in, and accept the freakin’ compliment. And compliment yourself.
Accepting my strengths makes it easier to accept my weaknesses, because I know that in my weakness, someone else’s strength can shine.
Own your strengths and weaknesses affirmation:
I love learning and growing. I feel a thrill for the things I am good at, and I accept compliments easily. I also feel excited to see someone else’s strengths, and affirm their talents. I believe in my skills and abilities, and my ability to improve on both new and old skills.
#4: Stop Being Afraid of Asking Questions
For most of my life, I pretended to always know what other people were talking about.
This presents many problems 🙂
First of all, I was frequently lost and confused. And more importantly, sometimes I was just straight up dishonest.
I’ve learned something really important…
People LIKE to talk about themselves! (for the most part). And if I’m willing to ask questions instead of pretend I know what I’m talking about, it opens up a really fun dialog I wouldn’t have otherwise. This helps me not only realize by own self worth, but also helps me appreciate the value that other people bring to the conversation since I get to focus on someone else, instead of simply what I don’t know.
I am ok with the fact that I don’t know everything, because it gives me the opportunity to continue to learn and grow. I have, or can get, any knowledge that I need.
#5: Everyone is a little weird
Lastly, I realized at some point fairly recently that most people have insecurities just like I do.
Event people I think are perfect have things about themselves they don’t like. Realizing this made me realize I’m not unique in my confidence issues—we all struggle from time to time, and its all okay.
What tips did I miss? Were these tips helpful?
Let me know in the comments.
Need More Guidance To Be Confident?
I experienced my biggest lack of confidence and security in my twenties. In hindsight, my insecurities probably caused a lot of the problems I experienced that eventually led me to therapy. In counseling, I became aware of cognitive behavioral therapy, which helped me process circumstances more clearly and ultimately make better decisions and set better boundaries.
Sometimes a lack of confidence is as simple as the tips above — learning to be mindful of loving and accepting oneself.
Other times, a lack of confidence is caused by compromising our values or boundaries.
The Tiny Happiness Project is the result of many lessons and tools I learned and utilized that not only made me happier, but also increased my confidence.