A few years ago, I started setting things aside for my kids.
The good china I only brought out for holidays. The mahogany side table that had been in our family for decades. A box of things I had carefully kept because I was certain they would mean something someday.
I never asked if they wanted any of it. I just assumed they would.
It wasn’t until my daughter came to visit and I showed her the box that I realized I had assumed wrong. She was kind about it (she always is), but I could tell by the look on her face that none of it was going home with her.
That was a hard moment. Not because she said anything hurtful.
But because I had been holding onto all of it for years with someone specific in mind, and that someone didn’t want it.
If you’ve had a moment like that, you’re not alone.
This is something a lot of women my age are quietly dealing with, and most of us never saw it coming.
We grew up in homes where things got passed down, where the china cabinet meant something, where keeping it in the family was just what you did.
Our kids grew up differently. And that’s not a criticism of them or of us.
It’s just the truth.
In this post I’m sharing what I’ve learned about why this happens, what our kids typically don’t want (and why), and what you can actually do with the things you’ve been holding onto for them.