How to Start Journaling About Your Grief // Pick Me Up Box Tips
“It’s been a year since I embarked on a grief journaling weekend, in the middle of nowhere, to start processing 12 years of built up prolonged grief that I had been holding inside me since my mom died…” Guest Article Written By: Felicia Bates, Pick Me Up Box I looked at my husband, asked him to take care of our almost 2-year-old daughter for 3 days, and drove to a small Airbnb in the country for solitude and grief processing. Other than over a decade of unresolved grief, I finally arrived to this milestone in my life after a year of therapy and reading The Grief Recovery Handbook. Making this…
How to Rebuild Self-Esteem After Breakup When Someone Cheats on You
If your boyfriend cheated on you: first of all, I’m sorry. Someone cheated on me before and it sucks. And that’s why I want to write this post… and hopefully help others rebuild self-esteem after breakup. When I was 14, my dad cheated on my mom, and then my first boyfriend ever cheated on me. Between those two experiences I had a pretty sorry impression of myself AND men. I grew up assuming all men cheated, and I lived my life in fear of being abandoned in every relationship I was in for a long time. As you can imagine…this thinking didn’t result in a ton of awesome relationships. Many…
How to Deal with Death – The Story of Losing My Dad
My dad passed away unexpectedly a few years ago, and this year it hit me hard. I’ve been learning how to deal with death, and wanted to share my experience. I know this topic isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but part of making videos consistently every single week is that…sometimes I have to make them about what is going on in my head. I didn’t make videos for over 2 years because so much had happened and I didn’t know how to write about it or white to say. This blog and YouTube channel is an outlet for me—so thanks for letting me share. When my dad passed away, I…
Lessons From Fantasies and How to Grieve Them
Written By: Anonymous When I was a little girl, I spent a lot of time in my head. I was a master at creating elaborate fantasies, especially for my Barbie doll. I had a very vivid imagination. It’s easy to blame Disney or Hollywood, but what it came down to is I was looking for an escape from my current reality. I was a scared little girl. I grew up in a home where no one really knew how to communicate with one another, effectively, healthily, or appropriately. We knew how to yell. We knew how to criticize. We knew how to bend the truth (aka lie). We practiced for…
My Experience On The Other Side and Why #MarriageEquality Made Me Cry
I am taking some new risks by writing this. No offense intended to anyone who has played a part in my life- just stating the facts as they happened. This post is about why #standbywendy and #marriageequality made me cry. Check out the links on the hashtags for more about what happened today. A few weeks ago, I had dinner with a gay friend I’d just met. He is involved in sex education and promoting equal rights through a non profit organization (more on that in another post). He shared a story with me regarding an opportunity he had to share some information with a young gay teen. The teen…
One More Day with My Dad
I saw a friend’s post on Facebook answering the question, “How would you spend one more day with your dad?” It made me think how I might spend another day with my dad. Here’s what we would do: My favorite moments with my dad were when he would recount stories from his youth. He was in a motorcycle gang, and had some ridiculous adventures. Once, he shared with me how he earned the nickname “Eggs”. Another time, he told me a story of how a friend of his had successfully stopped traffic for a small animal or insect. With their helmets and jackets on, my dad said he and his…
Dear Dad 4.12.12
Dear Dad, First of all, I am grateful for the ways I am like you. I love my awkward and slightly inappropriate sense of humor. I love being outdoors and having mini adventures. I am frugal with my finances, and I like to plan. When I am upset about something, I usually get quiet. I don’t always feel the need to explain myself. I feel deeply. Sometimes my feelings are so intense, that when I am in the most pain I have nothing to say. Sometimes, I prefer to be alone. I am intuitive learning new software. Math fascinates and excited me. I know you are proud of where I am today. I know…
No Going Back
A year ago my life was much different than it is today. My dad’s death was a catalyst for a lot of change. Honestly? I might have used it as an excuse/reason to make drastic changes I’d wanted to make for some time. Some of those things turned out great, and some of them led to some pain. I have said this before, but I really view all of the highs and lows as a beautiful part of my healing and growth. Some of the beliefs I had at the time are the same, but I am coming to the realization that many of them are not. And I don’t…
This Year
This year has been one of the most eventful years of my life, and one of the most emotional. It has also been one of the best. (When I honor myself, please know that I am tremendously grateful to God.) I am amazing! There, I said it. Do you know how many times I have fallen on my ass this year? A whole lot! I have learned that I am tenacious. I keep getting up, getting help, and getting better. I have learned so many new things! Many aspects of my life are quite different than they were a year ago, and that is really good. I left my church…
Holding Hands: The Gift of Receiving Comfort
When I had chemical toxins in my brain, my emotions were super wonky. The process of healing and feeling real emotions about real things has been a beautiful and precious journey. A male mentor taught me a lot. When I began this process, I learned that I had very few close female friends, and that many of my male friendships were not healthy. It was uncomfortable for me to comfort or touch people (anything more than a hug) because I sexualized the interaction. Even though I needed nurturing, I was unable to accept it as often as I needed it. This former male mentor and I never hugged or even…
