I recently met someone who immediately insulted himself in our very first conversation. Even though this is only my second week working with this person, I have already heard him complain about his weight, his face and his skills set. He wrote a great letter for me to include within my marketing plan, but before he sent it he warned me that it was terrible and he couldn’t come up with anything better (it was fabulous, by the way).
Meeting someone who seems a little insecure can be somewhat endearing but I found myself getting annoyed! When I am annoyed with someone, I know there is always a mirror of me in the situation- a mirror image I don’t like. I ask my boyfriend constantly for affirmation. He is very kind, but honestly…I’m annoyed with myself! I am annoyed that I need so much affirmation. There is nothing wrong with needing or wanting affirmation, but I need to be able to give it to myself as well. And that is why this guy annoys me.
I can’t take it anymore! Everyone needs to lighten up (including myself). Seriously.
Stop apologizing when you need to tell someone something. You deserve to have a voice, and what you have to say is important and valuable.
Stop complaining about your crooked nose. It’s fine!
Stop telling people you don’t know what you are doing. You DO.
Stop complaining about your job! It’s probably fine. Think about what you like about it and why you want to be there. And if you keep hating it, LEAVE.
Stop complaining about your body. It’s yours and you’ve got to love it. Buy clothes that fit your body if your current wardrobe is too snug or too loose. Things change, and that’s ok. Your body changes, and that’s ok.
Do you have acne or crappy skin like me? Who cares! It adds character. You weren’t planning on modeling anyway, so just do your best and LOVE it.
Did you lose a sock while doing laundry? Lighten up! You wear pants. If you lose another one, you’ll have a new pair!
Here are some affirmations, just to get you started on your new way of thinking. You can’t focus on what you don’t want, or you’ll just keep noticing the things you don’t want. Start thinking about the things you DO want. Start being grateful for what you have. Intentionally choose to be a glass-half-full kind of person. Stick these affirmations on post it notes and put them in your bedroom, in your bathroom (on the mirror), on your coffee pot and in your office. If you are a male, adjust these accordingly.
I am beautiful.
I am successful and deserve to be successful.
I am loved and I deserve to be loved!
I have more than enough money. Money comes easily to me.
I enjoy my job. I love my boss and my coworkers.
I am smart and valuable.
Maybe you read those and thought, BS! Well, stop that. Just keep reading them to yourself and imagine that those things are true even if you don’t feel like it yet. Your life isn’t going to get better by complaining and feeling angry and sad all the time. But it WILL get better if you start viewing the world from a positive perspective and if you keep your sights and beliefs on what you want.
Ok, carry on.